He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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