Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
