he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
