come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
