Please, let me fuck your mom
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
