It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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