Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.

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(614): View more from Ohio

woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.

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(410): View more from Maryland

My mouth holds just enough water for my bong

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE

(203): View more from Connecticut

literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..

(203): View more from Connecticut

Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off

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