hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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