well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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