every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
