isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
