I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
