I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
