How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
