you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
