I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We just shotgunned beers for America
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
