i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize