3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
