Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
