Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
