i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
