9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
