I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize