lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
