I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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