so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
