why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
