Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
