Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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