We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
