I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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