Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
