fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
