I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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