never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
