He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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