Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Randomize
