I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize