You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
