can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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