i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We got so high we made milksteak
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
