Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
