No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My feet surprised me
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