Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
