After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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