People in love make me want to vomit
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Also, beer. Big fan.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
