is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
