just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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