Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.

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(626): View more from California

she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song

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(416): View more from Ontario

So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.

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(303): View more from Colorado

This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.

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(903): View more from Texas

Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?

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(209): View more from California

Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.

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(415): View more from California

So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.

(415): View more from California

She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.

(314): View more from Missouri

and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...

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