There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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