When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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