I think i sorta joined a cult last night
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
