16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Randomize
