Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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