There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
