I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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