I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
