I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
