I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
