Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
