tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just want to make out with him forever
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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