nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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