It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
