And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
