if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
