Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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