So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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