some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
