honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
