Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
